Ichimu
by ills
Summary: What six words could Usagi have innocently muttered to make not only Mamoru nearly choke on his coffee but have Motoki ready to pummel him with a tray? Run Mamoru before its not too late! One shot.


_Disclaimer: Come on geez, how many times do I have to say it? I don't own Sailor Moon, ok? Quit calling me! _

_An: I was watching this episode of Lucky Star and this one in particular scene got to me one day and I just couldn't get out of my head. I kept on thinking what if that same situation happened to Usagi and Mamoru, and so this baby was born. _

Ichimu: Japanese: A dream.

Lolicon: Japanese: A term describing the attraction to young girls.

Bishie: Japanese: Pretty boy.

**Ichimu**

Teacup.

A giant, spinning, pink teacup.

With a huge sunflower painted on the side.

Usagi had no recollection how she had gotten here or inside said teacup but she feared that not only would a ghastly mouse appear soon with all of his little _friends, _but that this was another one of the Dark Kingdom's horribly planned schemes.

Blinking Usagi began to ponder over the situation while trying to avoid the inevitable impending dizziness… and not to mention the throwing portion of this ride.

Jadeite, no that blonde had been defeated months ago. It couldn't possibly be him, unless he was a ghost seeking revenge. No, Usagi shook her head, that wasn't possible.

Nephrite had met with an unfortunate fate week ago, the mere though of it made her heart swell as her best friend's crying face came to mind.

That left the annoying hyena, Zoisite and his lover, Malachite.

Since a giant, _pink_, teacup seemed to be more Zoisite style she ran with it.

Eyeing her clothes she noted that she was still in her school uniform so maybe she wasn't aware of an attack, or possibly she'd fallen into a trap.

Considering her own track record Usagi leaned more towards the _trap _scenario.

'Now to get out of this cup,' She thought while frowning. 'Where is Ami or the girls when you need them?'

Not spotting anymore cups or obstructions that might potentially harm the young blonde she thought that her safest option was to jump out. 'Here goes,' She paused in mid-thought as she began to stand up only to have herself be knocked back down, the g-force created by the spinning cup catching her off guard. 'Nothing?' She finished her thought as frowned after being forced back down.

Squaring her jaw, determination hardening her body she managed to stand up after struggling a bit and turned around to look over the cup's edge. Glancing down towards the floor she noticed that it was… moving?

Not just the regular, you're spinning around the room kind of _moving_ but the ground itself was moving. Little black pieces _wiggled_ back up at the blonde as the teacup hovered elegantly above it. 'What is that?' Her inner voice questioned while she furrowed her brow. 'Jumping is defiantly out of the ques-' Her inner voice cut itself off when a black piece stopped its wiggling.

Little legs suddenly came out of the black piece's sides as if it were some sort of insect.

Usagi paled.

It's little legs worked feverishly until it had turned itself about, its face, or whatever you wanted to call it now looking at Usagi directly. Blinking, it actually smiled, "Well, how do you do?" It's country accent unmistakable.

Unable to help herself Usagi screamed, closing her eyes before pushing off at the edge of the teacup. Expecting to crash on the hard inner surface of the teacup the young girl stiffened her back muscles preparing for impact. But, it never came instead she found herself floating in mid-air.

Hesitantly Usagi opened one eye and it was as if with that one simple gesture she had ruined the perfectly cast spell. The laws of gravity suddenly kicked in and she found herself falling backwards onto a soft, fluffy… bed?

Spinning teacup of doom and strange… ugly insects having disappeared.

'This is kind of nice,' She absently thought while snuggling deeper into the folds of the bed. 'This would be perfect if only,' She began but paused when a strange weight landed on her lap. Lifting her head slightly she glanced towards it to find a hot fudge sundae sitting peacefully on top of her. 'I had a tasty snack,' She finished her original thought.

A bed that grants wishes.

Jackpot!

Sitting up she took a hold of the spoon and began to lift it towards her awaiting mouth only to pause in mid-air. "What if this is a Dark Kingdom trick and this sundae actually drains my life force with each delicious spoon full?"

Evil sundae.

What was the world coming to?

Tempting, evil sundae.

Aw, well someone, namely the Scouts or Tuxedo Kamen would save her.

Smiling gleefully Usagi began to bring the spoon back towards her anxiously awaiting mouth.

"Yes, eat it," A booming male voice insisted.

"Yup, this delicious ice cream is going in my tum- wait, wha?" Feverously Usagi's blue orbs searched the room only to find that the only occupant was indeed herself.

"Eat it," The voice demanded once again and tearfully Usagi placed the spoon and sundae, gently, down on the bed, pushing it away from her body. "You're really not going to eat it?" The voice asked almost angrily as the wall shifted, molding itself into a face.

Letting out a small yelp Usagi backed herself up to the bed's edge. The wall, which now had a face protruding from its center, swiftly grew fangs.

Usagi trembled in fear.

"Then, I'll just have to," Feeling something wet touch her Usagi darted her blue orbs towards the bed finding its once pristine, fluffy surface to be now stained red. Blood? "Eat you!" The wall slid dangerously towards her and while screaming she once again threw herself backwards.

A light flashed and momentarily Usagi wondered if she was dead.

However, when she blinked she found herself to be standing upright in the center of Game Center Crown.

What, the Dark Kingdom was targeting the Crown?

No, it couldn't be!

As long as she was Sailor Moon and the Crown continued to serve euphoria inducing chocolate milkshakes served by a hot bishie at low, low prices then damnit, she would protect it from all known evils.

"Usagi?" The young blonde whirled around to see Motoki standing behind the counter, grinning at her.

Certainly didn't appear evil.

"Hi," Usagi greeted almost timidly.

He smiled, "You're just the person I wanted to see. I came up with a new milkshake concept and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind-"

"Say no more," She ran up to the counter edge, sitting down at one of the swivel chairs while looking at him happily.

Evil teacups, beds and sundaes were pushed to the back of her mind, forgotten.

"Good, I'll whip you up one," He said while handing her a menu. "Here have a look at our new menus too."

Taking it into her possession before laying it flat on the counter she opened it up while her eyes skillfully scanned it. "Wait; is this the new shakes name?" She asked while holding up the menu and pointing to a title in bold.

"Yeah," Motoki nodded before turning back towards the empty glass cup in his hand.

"How do you pronounce it?" She asked, narrowing her eyes towards the menu and the foreign looking word.

"Sound it out," Motoki instructed.

"Ok," Usagi nodded while opening her mouth to read the title.

---

While coughing rather loudly and rudely Asanuma tried poking the blonde haired girl in the cheek with his mechanical pencil. "Give it a rest," Motoki stated, walking up to their booth with a tray in hand. "Once Usagi is asleep she's pretty much dead to the world." He chuckled, looking past the sleeping blonde towards the chestnut colored haired girl, known as Makoto. "How's it going?" He inquired.

Unexpectedly and angrily Makoto ripped out the piece of paper she'd been currently jotting notes on out of her notebook, forming a fist around the paper. "Horrible," She stated while gritting her teeth. "I'm flunking this test tomorrow."

Motoki shared a frown with Asanuma.

"Which part don't you understand?" Asanuma asked patiently, taking a hold of her text book.

"All of it," She sighed.

A worried expression settled on Motoki's face, turning towards the both directly next to theirs his green eyes landed on Mamoru. "Hey, you're good at Math, why don't you lead a helping hand?" He questioned watching his classmate place his coffee mug back on its saucer.

Mamoru sighed while glancing at the sleeping girl out of the corner of his eye.

"And you could give Usagi a shot of that coffee you love so much, wake her right up so she won't fail." Mamoru shot him a knowing look which made Asanuma grin nervously. "Quite as badly?"

Nodding in defeat Mamoru took a hold of his coffee mug once again, "Fine. Though, Motoki could you please get me another cup?" Awaiting his nod Mamoru then brought his cup to his lips, downing the last portion before setting it on top of Motoki's tray.

No sooner did the ceramic cup touch the tray did Usagi shoot up into a sitting position, still half asleep.

"I want to fuck Chiba Mamoru."

What were those… six words?

These six devastating words turned the Crown completely upside down in less than 0.5 seconds flat.

Eyes bugging out and jaws dropped Asanuma and Makoto could only stare at Usagi in complete shock.

In the booth next to them Mamoru choked nearly spitting up his mouthful of coffee as his cheeks significantly reddened.

Motoki dropped the tray onto the floor, the loud crash serving to not only get Usagi's attention but completely wake her up as well. Groaning she faintly remembered her dream, "What craziness," She said while eyeing the broken coffee mug. Just as she was about to question what happened Motoki screamed, jumped towards her and taking her by the shoulders.

"Usagi!" He screamed his voice noticeably raising an octave. "Who taught you such fowl language?! Much less what _that _is!" He shook her, his protective older brother side kicking into high gear. "Tell me, I want names!"

Quite abruptly the last part of her dream where she was finally able to pronounce what the new title of Motoki's milkshake came flooding back to her. No, but she couldn't have said it out loud. But, turning around to look at Makoto and Asanuma she knew she _had_ just by the looks on their shell shocked faces.

Oh noes!

Well, this was an embarrassing, sticky situation but it was fine as long as- fuck!

Seeing Mamoru calmly sitting in the booth next to theirs she knew that there was no way that he _hadn't _heard her six word declaration.

Flushing red and tears of embarrassment now flowing freely down her face Usagi pushed past Motoki and ran out of the Crown's front doors. "Odango Atama!" Mamoru, who'd up to this point not even bothered to turn towards the blonde got up from his booth and tried to run after her.

However, Mamoru found himself to be blocked by three very angry looking people.

Namely: Makoto, Motoki and Asanuma.

"Where do you think you're going?" Before he could even try to explain himself to the trio Motoki pushed him back down towards his seat, glaring at him all the while.

"One word Mamoru," Asanuma paused for dramatic effect. "Lolicon." He shook his head, "First Rei now Usagi, at least wait until she's in high school." Makoto nodded in agreement not wanting her best friends virtue tainted.

"Rei is one thing, she's experienced but Usagi c'mon man," Makoto glared at him. "What's that saying, _Tap that and the next love hotel you'll be staying at will be a prison cell_," She recited.

On his part Mamoru listened to their lecture silently neither arguing nor agreeing but in his mind he couldn't help but wonder what he would say to her the next time he ran into her.

Would he be able to tell her that he loved her?

Obviously she liked him or she wouldn't have said that.

Smiling to himself Mamoru nodded, 'Next time, I'll tell her.'

Motoki slapped Mamoru across the face, "Whip that smile off your face I know what you're thinking and its not going to happen!" He yelled.

**The End**

_An: I hope that you've enjoyed my hopefully funny one-shot. _

_Eh, I know and love that Mamoru is what 17 in the manga but 20ish in the Anime… so I just had to throw that last little bit in there just for giggles. Don't get offended! _

_Now, I do hope that you have a __**review fetish**__ and can't wait to leave me a comment telling me what you thought! _

_Sidebar: Did anyone else know that Negaverse was __**also**__ where the evil NegaDuck in Darkwing Duck lived? Hm, I wonder if the English Dub people were fans. Maybe, maybe not. _

_ills_


End file.
